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I am a woman learning to heal from past sexual, emotional, and physical abuse along with neglect. I have been diagnosised with DID and Complex PTSD both direct causes of the abuse. jazmineo1112@yahoo.com

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Note to Self

As one grows up in a household full of chaos, uncertainty, and disfunction, one believes this behavior is normal and expected in families. 

Without intervention from the disfunctionality, one grows up and, not purposefully, seeks relationships with those same functions: chaos, uncertainty, and disfunction. Because, as crazy as it sounds, it feels normal and what is accepted and expected. 

So, one, as a grown up, must actively seek relationships that seem "abnormal" but are actually normal. 
A relationship without drama. 
A relationship of love. 
A relationship of commitment. 
A relationship of mutual respect. 
A relationship of mutual and separate interests. 
A relationship of communication. 
A relationship of comfort. 
A relationship of openness. 
A relationship of honesty. 
A relationship of closeness. 
A relationship of togetherness. 

All of this sounds "great" and "wonderful" to one that grew up in a crazy home but it also sounds out of reach. 

But one must strive and reach for this relationship. It is out there. One must have faith and commitment to finding it.