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I am a woman learning to heal from past sexual, emotional, and physical abuse along with neglect. I have been diagnosised with DID and Complex PTSD both direct causes of the abuse. jazmineo1112@yahoo.com

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Remembering

As we (my mom, her boyfriend, myself, and my brother) were getting ready for a "family" picture, I was dressing with a very sexual explicit blasting. 
As it was getting close to time to leave, "I" (Jaz) am no longer around. 
Next thing I remember, we are all in the car, adults in front and kids in back. My mom's boyfriend was mad at me and I was mad as well. 
Tears are streaming down my face-out of fear and anger. 
He is yelling at me while everyone else is quiet in the car. I start talking back and my mom cuts her eyes at me from the front seat, as if to say, "Shut up. You know how he is."
He tells me that he will "stop the car in the middle of the road, drag me out, and beat my ass if I don't shut up talking back."
So, me and my wisdom I say something smart. 
He slams on the breaks in the middle of the road, flings the door open,  flips the front seat forward, and tells me to get out. 
I sit still refusing to move. Thinking in my head, "if he wants to beat me, he will have to drag me out."
He stands outside the car for, what feels like 5 mins. Although, I'm sure it was only 30 seconds. 
He continues to run his mouth to me and I sit with my mouth closed. "Don't need any more drama", I think. 

When we get to the place to take "family pictures", they said "Daddy, you can stand in the back." 
I rolled my eyes and my mom laughed. 
Ugh...makes me sick to my stomach!

Jaz

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