As I write I hear little voices. These voices are with me all day as I go about my business. Sometimes I can tune out the chatter by staying busy. Sometimes they are deafening and I don't want to hear them. Other times I love them and we carry on conversations.
Julie-Will you always care for me?
Me-Always and forever
Julie-Why didn't my mother take care of me?
Me-She didn't know how.
Me-She was troubled and just didn't know how to care for anyone.
Jackie-You don't have to take care of me. I can do it myself.
Me-Jackie, I love you too. I will take care of you.
Julie-I love Liz. She loves me too.
Jackie-Well, I don't need her. (referring to Liz)
Me-Well if you ever need me, Jackie. I'm here. (Jackie leaves)
Julie-I don't like her. (referring to Jackie)
Me-Well, you need to like her. She is like your sister. (Julie smiles her sweet inoccent smile and hugs me)
I am learning I must mother the little ones inside. We didn't have a mother that nurtured us and cared for us. I must do this for them. It is hard at times but it was even harder when I fought it.
I am learning that I am special and it is great to have Dissociative Identity Disorder...I am NEVER alone!!