Tonight, Ty DEMANDED therapy time. Stating he wanted his own time and he wanted to change his destructive ways. My alters come and go quickly on the weekends. They begin to need to talk to Doc, and they need comforting. The alters get scared and some become demanding and vulgar.
This always left me feeling like I was some how failing in some way. What could it be about the weekends? Why do I have such problems with the alters on the weekends? How do I find the trigger that messes up the weekends?
I used to think it was because I would work all week and stay busy until the weekend. That is when I had more time to myself, the system, and more time to think. However, I am not working now and the weekends are still the biggest issue. Then it hit me.....
What if the system goes haywire on Fridays because the system is scared of the weekend? What if that was the time we were most vulnerable to sexual acts and prostitution? This makes sense.
Although this is pure speculation about my system, it fits together. Most adults are free over the weekend; so this would be PRIME time to prostitute your child. This is when most men would be interested and would be available.
Could this be the true reason for my system failure on the weekends?
Jazz
Double Z Doc.... :-)
I've recently come to this exact same conclusion. I tend to become much more switchy, dissociated and unstable on the weekends. I think it's because I was around the abusers more frequently and my weekends were always more unpleasant. I believe that some in my system remember and learned to dread the weekends.
ReplyDeleteMany_me,
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by and commenting. I hope you continue to follow me through this long marathon of healing.
It is amazing how our mind works. Even though we don't remember the abuse and don't know all of the triggers the little ones inside do. They are still living in the past and thinking on the abuse.
I am very thankful for my mind's ability to create DID so I don't have to relive the trauma each day. However, I just wish I knew some on the triggers so I could avoid them and save myself much pain and many panic attacks.
Jaz